Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Thoughts Today

I haven't posted in such a long time. We have been pretty busy with the events going on lately which I will post about later, but I read my sis-in-law Natalie's blog this morning and it made me really reflect on everything that I have to be grateful for. So here goes my list:
-I am so grateful first of all for my husband. He is amazing in every way possible and is my rock and my strength and I never could have made it through Brogen's surgery without him. This was by far the biggest trial and hardest thing I have ever gone through and while I found every possible negative thing to say about our situation he was always right there with something positive.
-I am so grateful for both of our families. Without our families we have nothing and I love spending time with all of them. I remember my mom telling me when I was a teenager that friends would come and go but your family would always be there and how true that is! My family has been there through thick and thin and I am so grateful to all of them for everything. Jared and I have amazing mom's who are always willing to drop everything and come and help out with Brogen and he love's his grandmas! I am so grateful for my grandparents and for the examples that they are and all the help they have given us throughout the years. They have always been so generous with their time and resources to help us out.
-I am grateful for sight, smell, touch, health, and all those things that I take for granted everyday. I love this time of year when all the trees change to the beautiful fall colors and the air is cold and crisp and the mountains all around us.
-I am grateful for the gospel, prayer, fasting, and blessings. I have to admit that this past seven months my faith has been tested and there were days that I was so bitter at God for not answering my prayers and I was so mad that Brogen had to go through so much. At the same time I know that he was helping me through this time and blessing me even when I refused to recognize my blessings. I felt his love for me and overwhelming peace on the day of Brogen's surgery and I know that many prayers were offered on our behalf. I am so grateful for the atonement and the sacrifice of the Savior and the opportunity I have to be forgiven and to better myself.
-I am grateful for the opportunity to be a mom. This has been the most humbling amazing experience for me. I have learned so much about myself as a person and it has made me more aware of my weaknesses and strengths. I am learning patience and selflessness and everything that I lacked before and I never knew that I could love a child so much. I know how it feels to love unconditionally. When he is hurting or sad it makes my heart ache and when he is happy and laughing I am so happy. I want whats best for him and I worry and stress over him and just love him so much I can't even stand it! There are so many things that I get to experience as a mother and I am so grateful for it!